Wanting more.

I am not satisfied. I am not content. I am, unsettled, like a caged lion pacing back and forth, knowing what I see beyond the bars yet not able to touch it.

Most of my life I have been a Christian. I have been taught by people, in Church and out. I have been told what is possible, but not seeing much of it.

It bothers me, to the point where I feel sickened, when I see or hear of an unnatural death, a sickness, a mental problem, a disease, hopelessness, fear, lack,… oppression, still going on with so many professing Christians around.

Something is wrong,… very wrong.

I refuse to give up. I refuse to just “accept” that this is it, and that the book of Acts is a myth. I refuse to give up hope. I don’t care who says it’s not like that anymore. If you have quit trusting and hoping, well I’m pressing onward. I have to, I need to. There’s too much at stake. I refuse to see The Lord face to face and try to sell Him the idea of my excuses as to why His Power was not available, and I couldn’t do my job.

The reality is, I am a lion, that has been caged by lies. Lies that The Holy Spirit doesn’t do miracles anymore. That we are supposed to be oppressed and show others how to take a beating throuought life. See, The Lion is on the inside, but on the outside I look like a lamb, an easy prey and certainly not a threat to oppression, the enemy.

But I am a threat. I am a threat because I REFUSE to give up.

I know who my Father is, He is The Lion of the tribe of Judah! He is The King of kings, and The Lord of lords! He is The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Israel! He is The Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End!

I will live in His den, in His Presence, and bow my face to the ground. I will seek Him, I will humble my heart before Him, I will choose to forgive all that have wronged me, and repent for my sins, the sins of my family, of my state, my country and the world.

I will sit in this den, in this cave with Him, in desperate determination to KNOW HIM, in prayer and worship as long as it takes, and alone if needed.

America and the world is just starting to realize how desperately in need we are for God. But how many will choose to sacrifice themselves, (their titles, pride, money, “security”, doctorates, possessions, time, assumptions, hate, unforgivness, idols, hobbies, rights,… whatever is more sought after than God), and fully submit to Him and desperately cry out for Him until He shows up. And then, press in MORE, refusing to leave Him, no matter the cost.

How long will it take? As long as it takes to contend for more of Him. Desperation is key, hunger is key, humility and prayer are key and they are worth more than all the money and riches the world can ever offer. Because the world will pass away, but The Father, The Lord, The Holy Spirit are forever!

He is God, what can be too hard for Him?


An EXCELLENT book on this subject is called, “The Fire That Never Sleeps” by Michael L. Brown & John Kilpatric.


2 thoughts on “Wanting more.

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